28 Apr 2011

Oh dear

I week and a half its been. I'm so so busy that I'm finding it hard to keep up with myself. And its not even the good kinda busy, I've hit panic mode.

Even though I know I always get finished for a deadline I cant help but be totally stressed out. My projects are going to plan but I feel overwhelmed with the many components that make them up. I think I can safely admit defeat in that I took to much on at once. Silly Laura. If I pull this off, it wont only be worth it, It'll be a miracle.

I'm sort of humbled by the fact I'm not put off completing knowing fine well I might not even get to sit my final year. I think I've numbed myself of the thought because I really really really want to complete my degree. I think I've worked hard enough to deserve too. I hate money. I really really fucking hate it.

Steph's pretty sure she wont be doing her MLitt in creative writing. We cant afford it. plain and simple but it fills me with such disgust that the things we want most, the things that can further us, complete us and make us happy are the things we cant have. I fully believe she doesn't need the MLitt to make her a better writer. She just needs the time and focus and a community to actually get a decent amount down on paper.  It makes me sad that we cant just live how we want to live.

I think We should go live on an eco farm and work for ourselves and write and make art and just escape our impending doom.

Not really, we have the best super duper awesome idea ever and I really think we could get funding for it if we really tried. It would mean work on top of everything we're doing but we're gonna try. I wont say too much, but I think very soon I'll be getting really stuck into making our ideas possibilities .

For now though, I have about 4 projects to finish off in only 10 days, including this hot mess:

 Oh dear.

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