13 Feb 2011

We are everything/we are nothing.

Dear Blog,

Last night I got attacked in town by two girls and a man. By defending myself, it turned into a fight. I didn't want that to happen, but I also didn't want to be killed. My basic instinct to survive made me feel so powerful, but at the same (almost euphoric) moment I felt like a terrible person. I felt like I was nothing

The attack wasn't the worst thing to happen last night. Although my bruised face would tell you differently. My best friend, the only male I feel one hundred percent comfortable with caused a lot of the pain and tears that made up last night.

We walked to town, at times it felt like a scripted film, a beautifully heartbreaking type where there are sudden realisations. Only our realisation was only one of us would survive. It felt like he ripped my heart out repeatedly. I still don't know where it came from. I don't know what's going on in his mind to cause him to say such terrible things about himself or about me. Although some of the things he said were compliments to my achievements, life and future, they were said in such a strong evil and hatred way. I felt a huge wave of resentment.

I felt like he was leaving me.

Out of love? hate?

we're the same person me and him... at times. Not last night though.

He left, running into the night.

I stayed, and got punched in the face, by a man: Another man; who means nothing to me; who caused only temporally facial disfigurement.  

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