I lay awake last night having pretend conversations with you. Conversations about whether you were a dog or cat person, where we would go for the best cup of coffee -which would just lead us to my house, where I would make you it. We talked about why I felt so isolated and alone right now.
4.08am came and went. I heard the morning birds chirping and felt a warm, summer like feeling. A wash of various memories came over me: being out to late on long summer night when me and sister were kids, rolling down hills and just laughing; camping at festivals or my friends back garden; staying up all night on my first personal computer just to talk to a friend half way across the world because we shared similar 'psychiatric' problems and the perfect sunrise. A sunrise that could fill my whole room with a beautiful orange and pink glow, that could preciously reflect off the spinning crystal and glass bead chime, causing a millions tiny rainbows to form around me.
I wouldn't give up my life for a million pounds, for a turner prize nor for all the tea in china.