A different work.

When I'm not being a student, I'm being a teacher... or sorts. I work as a youth worker. Sometimes I have a lovely group of young people who like to actually take part in activities.

Right now I have a film making group, who are about to film the last few scenes of a (spoof) zombie movie. To get the go ahead with a group like this is just amazing. Best youth work I've done in Aberdeen. It's doubly great because we work along side SHMU, who help with tech parts, supplying the best equipment and helping me learn the bits I don't know yet.

I've had various groups form music to healthy living and in my last job did a week long school of art and most importantly helped young people open and run there own youth cafe.

Although not completely relevant to the course, its been playing on my mind all week so had to write about it.

You see, a young girl, 14, died last week. She got hit by a car and passed away in hospital. I wont name her or go into details but it turned out this girl was a young person who frequented our drop ins. Dealing with grief is hard, but to be a child or teenager is very strange and that extra bit heartbreaking.

I spent Monday night with my collogue talking to the young people about everything - how they felt/how its effected the school/friends/family/the reactions. My music group even started writing a song in memory.

That same night we had an older group who the girl hanged out with. Her best friend also appeared. Its hard to communicate with this older group as they are so disconnected, antisocial and frequently use drugs. We're at a stage where they only get to use the gym hall facilities to play football as they're abused the other areas and even stolen video consoles. On this particular night, we were on tenterhooks, but they were out to cause grief and high as kites. Without detailing, they basically abused the building and staff to the point the police had to be called. Upon police arrival the young people stampeded the door, crushing me into a railing without an ounce of respect.

I find the dynamic so hard to understand right now. I'm tired of reaching out to these teenagers. I can't believe on the same night, hearing about a girls tragic death her own friends and best friend come in and act the way they do. I know grief is a strange thing, I just think I've reached my level of tolerance. I'm more sad and puzzled than angry.

I carry my work for too long. I don't know if its doing much good to my thought processes and flow. I really don't want to have to work in my final year. Anyway I had to get all that out of my mind.